A Tiny Lifetime “Before”
November 16, 2020
Notes I never posted from 3/6/2020 (“Before”): It’s hard to turn the page at the end of a beautiful chapter. Abby left Buenos Aires today.
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Happy Birthday, Dad
November 13, 2020
“No matter who they are or where they come from, you have something to learn from everyone you meet.” This is one of my two
Thank You for Carrying the Pain With Me
October 28, 2020
I will never forget the way you hugged me when I told you. I hadn’t even finished my spluttering sentence, but your arms were around
When the Second Date Is Full of Panic and Disgust
October 27, 2020
Part 2 of 2. See the beginning of the story here. Our second date could not have gone any worse. He was overbearing. He had
It Was Too Good to Be True
October 22, 2020
Part 1 of 2. Check back for the rest of the story! Our first date could not have gone any better. He was attractive, bold,
The Most Confusing First Date: Not Quite Catfished
October 12, 2020
After my longest and most recent relationship ended, Trey was my first date. His Tinder photos intrigued me. Four of them were of him sailing
Notes from Quarantine: Unraveling
October 9, 2020
Journals from the boat – 3/23/2020 It started as a dropped stitch In the future I was creating. Plans for events and classes and friends,
An Important Reframe of “Success” in Stuttering (and Life)
October 1, 2020
My clinical assignment for the quarter stared me in the face: Teenage Stuttering Camp. I was rounding out my second year of graduate school, and
Enduring the Disrespect Was My Choice, So I Made a Different One
September 28, 2020
My infatuation with Evan Pierce began forcefully, after that second encounter with the pink feather boa and the snap bracelet. At least at first, our
The Hurt Still Hurts; I Knew It Well
September 24, 2020
I wasn’t enthused about the prospect of senior prom. My love interest at the time lived 1,728 miles away and certainly would not be making
How to Date as a Highly Sensitive Person: First Dates
September 22, 2020
Some people feel excited by the prospect of dating. The whole process – getting dressed up and meeting new people and trying different places and
Mini Love Stories: Hindsight Is 20/20
September 17, 2020
A Collection of Mini Love Stories on Hindsight in Dating Today I’m sharing three mini love stories involving a change in perspective after the fact.
When “I Love You” Is Forced, It’s Not Fun.
September 15, 2020
Gradually, I became more comfortable verbally expressing my feelings for Jason. I would return his proclamations of love with three words of my own and,
The Italian in the Accidental Friend Zone
September 10, 2020
The fall weather was crisp and the cabernet was flowing on that mid-October afternoon. My friend Lisa and I had traveled north, to California wine
Thank You for the Gift
September 7, 2020
Dear Andrés, Thank you for the gift that was Letting me break up with you. I know we were both ready For it
This Exchange Was Not About the Money
September 4, 2020
Andrés made it clear from the night of our first date that he would not be generous with his money. “My sisters get pissed,” he
He Reinforced the New, More Vibrant Version of Me
September 2, 2020
When I returned home from my semester in Ecuador, halfway through my senior year in high school, I looked and felt like a different person.
It Was Time to Try a New Approach to Online Dating
August 31, 2020
“I want to give up,” I told him, reaching for the box of Kleenex and exhaling until my lungs deflated completely. “That is a decision
A Fading Figure in My Rearview Mirror
August 28, 2020
Elijah bailed on our road trip the night before our planned departure, so that traumatic night under the influence of cannabis was the last I
I Turned a Blind Eye
August 26, 2020
I turned a blind eye to the heavy drinking, the daily marijuana use, the bottles of Vyvanse and Viagra that were empty but not yet
When All the Little Red Flags Are Camouflaged
August 25, 2020
(This is the second story in a series. Please read this post first, if you haven’t yet!) Why I ever trusted Elijah after that first
Relationship OCD: The Scary Monster Lurking in Your Relationship
August 14, 2020
Do you struggle with commitment in relationships? Do you consistently doubt your partner’s “rightness” for you, to the point that your thoughts about it are
Problems in Relationships When You Have OCD
August 10, 2020
Searching for Relief It was a dark and desperate moment when I opened my web browser and typed “problems in relationships when you have OCD.”
I Felt a Little Broken That Night
August 7, 2020
The day after I said “I love you” to Jason for the first time, we frolicked around San Francisco, walking the hilly streets and stopping
I Wanted His Family to Like Me for Me
August 4, 2020
This post is the fifth in a series. (Please read posts here, here, here and here if you haven’t yet!) We were making dinner together while sipping
Scary Drunk on a First Date Without Consent
July 31, 2020
I had agreed to a first date through Tinder but, as it approached, I didn’t feel like going. It was only two weeks before I
When “I Love You” Doesn’t Come Easily
July 29, 2020
This post is the fourth in a series. (Please read posts here, here, and here first, if you haven’t yet!) “I love you,” he said
He Wanted to Choose Baby Names in the First Quarter of the Relationship
July 27, 2020
This post is the third in a series. (Please read posts here and here first, if you haven’t yet!) It was a cold winter day and we were
I Hope You Found Romance Elsewhere
July 22, 2020
We met through Meetup—a Spanish-speaking group, to be specific. I took a few deep breaths before walking into the bar that night, preparing myself for
Will I Ever Be the Bride?
July 21, 2020
This post is the second in a series. Please read the essay here first (with a new illustration), if you haven’t yet! 🙂 I was
Mini Love Stories: A Lack of Love Interest
July 15, 2020
A Collection of Mini Love Stories on a Lack of Love Interest Today I’m sharing four mini love stories that have more to do with
On Being Wrong: I Changed My Mind about Reverse Racism
July 10, 2020
I remember standing in the career center at my high school, browsing the files of scholarship possibilities for exiting seniors. I was a junior at
I Expected His Words to Crush Me; They Absolutely Didn’t
July 7, 2020
This post is the fifth in a series. (Please read the posts here, here, here and here first, if you haven’t yet!) I was in the middle
On Bearing My Bare Face to the World
July 6, 2020
Why does it feel like an act of courage? To bear my bare face to the World? I stand at the mirror, Painting a
On “Celebrating” the Fourth (and Patriotism Today)
July 4, 2020
With everything going on lately, I find it hard to feel pride for my country on this “day of independence.” Patriotism today should look a
The Most Expensive Meal I’ll Ever Have in My Life
July 3, 2020
This post is the fourth in a series. (Please read the posts here, here, and here first, if you haven’t yet!) I once spent over $750 on
What Do You Want the World to Know About You?
June 29, 2020
Until last fall, I always claimed I loved to write, but I rarely sat down to actually do so. Aside from assessment reports for work,
Your Attraction to Thin Women Is Not Unique to You
June 26, 2020
This post is the third in a series. (Please read this post and this post first, if you haven’t yet!) “It’s just the body type
Everything Ended Quickly on the Unsuccessful First Date
June 24, 2020
You weren’t over your ex. I didn’t know that yet. We met at Drake’s Dealership for drinks. Afterward, I drove you to the Bart station
Suddenly I Was Coping With a Shattered Fantasy
June 23, 2020
This post is the second in a series. (Please read this post first, if you haven’t yet!) Our second date was Halloween, and I couldn’t
My Mind Was Made Up; There Wasn’t a Connection
June 19, 2020
The text from Emily read: Look at this. I waited for my phone to receive the hilarity of the moment. It had become a habit
I Convinced Him to Be My Partner
June 17, 2020
This post is the fourth in a series. (Please read the posts here and here and here first, if you haven’t yet!) When you first
Mini Love Stories: Love that Never Was
June 15, 2020
A Collection of Mini Love Stories on Love that Never Was Today I’m sharing three mini love stories involving love that never was. The Risk
That Time I Really Wanted to Text My Brother’s Boss
June 12, 2020
This essay is the second in a series. (Please read this post first, if you haven’t yet!) I was visiting Washington for the weekend, and
The Awkward Year I Learned to Vote for Myself
June 10, 2020
As a 6th grader, during what will (hopefully) remain my most awkward life phase, I decided to run for student body (ASB) treasurer. I knew
I See the (Unearned) Privilege Granted to Me
June 8, 2020
We are expecting two weeks of cloudy, stormy weather here in the state of Washington. I normally crave the sun, but rain seems more fitting
When Quickly Calling 911 Is Perpetuating the Problem
June 1, 2020
I had a post scheduled for today. It was a short frivolous piece about a couple of dates with a family friend. But I don’t
Love in the Time of Coronavirus: Missing
May 29, 2020
I miss a lot about life before quarantine. Things I never thought I’d have to miss—the ability to give a hug without fear, the freedom
It Was the Perfect First Date
May 27, 2020
It was the perfect first date. Well, aside from the physical assault we witnessed. And the police intervention. But I’m getting ahead of myself. The
The Apology Beer That Was Never Consumed
May 22, 2020
Shelly approached you at a wine club event and asked if you remembered me. We had gone to high school together, but you were a
I Love You for All the Big and Small Things
May 21, 2020
I love how you talk excitedly about your bees. (“The female honeybees rule the bee world and, no offense, but the male bees are pretty
It Wasn’t a Fail-Safe Plan for Comfort
May 20, 2020
Do you remember? Going for a long misty walk by the bay? We were between semesters, And you were between girlfriends. Was it a date?
I Really Wish I Never Dreamt About My Wedding
May 18, 2020
I wish I could say that I never dreamt about my wedding. That seems like the feminist way. I wish I could say that I
I Was Trying My Hardest but Pretending Not to Care
May 13, 2020
This post is the third in a series. (Please read the posts here and here first, if you haven’t yet!) I wanted his sister to like
Here’s to the Mothers; I See You All, All of You
May 8, 2020
Here’s to the mothers. The ones who nurture their babies, who create loving space for their children to grow and explore. And the ones who
I Didn’t Know How to Say “No”
May 6, 2020
“Can I get your number?” he asked me, at that bar in SF. My stomach shifted a little. I was not in the mood to
I’ll Prove to You All How Much Fucking Fun I Can Be
May 3, 2020
I’ll show YOU how much fucking fun I am. I was fuming. Screaming at Curtis through the closed bathroom door and gripping the counter, trying
“Are You Bored or Do You Just Have a Boring Face?”
May 1, 2020
This post is the first in a series. Check back for more! “Are you bored or do you just have a boring face?” I grimaced,
Mini Love Stories: The Darker Side of Dating
April 29, 2020
A Collection of Mini Love Stories Today I’m sharing two mini love stories that involve the darker side of dating. You Made her Do the
Mini Love Stories: Authenticity in Dating
April 24, 2020
A Collection of Mini Love Stories Involving Authenticity in Dating Today I’m sharing three mini love stories about authenticity in dating. Lucky for Me, It
When a Dare at the Bar Reveals Something More
April 22, 2020
“Hey! I wanted to give you my number,” I said, passing him a piece of paper with my handwriting scrawled across it. “I’m Allie,” I
The Magic of a 3-Year-Old
April 17, 2020
The tiny child sat before me, and my body was folded over the low table so that we met at eye level. In front of
I Saw It in the Mirror: These Were Actually My People
April 15, 2020
Part 2 of 2! (Please read this post first, if you haven’t yet.) In the aftermath of Noah’s rejection of me, in those weeks leading
On Healing: Rejection and a Broken Heart
April 13, 2020
Part 1 of 2! (Part 2 will be posted on Wednesday.) Although I struggled to admit it, I was in lust with Noah Shaw, and
Shortcomings: Adam
April 10, 2020
“I want him to be confident—like, really confident. And funny; I’m attracted to people who are quick-witted. And social—extraverted. Not awkward. Oh, and I’m into
Devout: Mark
April 8, 2020
On our first date, I admitted to Mark that I was writing about dating. “Sometimes the only thing I get out of dates is some
Sisterhood: Kaitlyn
April 6, 2020
Kaitlyn and I became friends when we were four years old, new to Country Kids’ Preschool, and playing in Teacher Sharon’s make-believe kitchen together for
Humanity: Andrés
April 3, 2020
This post is the second in a series. (Please read this post first, if you haven’t yet!) Also note: the photo is from a different,
Tomorrow, I Turn 30.
April 1, 2020
Tomorrow, I turn 30. It’s a new decade, full of possibility and hope and uncertainty. For the last five years, I thought my anxiety around
Energy: John
March 30, 2020
The knock on my door came late that Thursday evening and I opened it with a smirk on my face. Standing on the doorstep were
You – Not Your Breasts – Are the Embodiment of Unconditional Love
March 26, 2020
First, I was one with you And then a separate entity; They bridged the gap. To me, They were always so much more than
Brief: Luis
March 25, 2020
It was the summer of 2017, and I found myself in Panama, eager to practice Spanish and learn to scuba dive. I spent my first
Notes from Quarantine: Mother Nature
March 24, 2020
The sea’s gentle movements Lulled me to sleep; It’s almost as if Mother Nature knew I needed rocking.
Proclamation: Pete
March 16, 2020
Sasha, Ben, and I were at Finn’s on a Thursday for our weekly dose of karaoke and booze. We were sipping Dirty Shirleys in a
Overstimulated: Riley
March 9, 2020
I was frantically searching for a parking spot when Riley texted me, letting me know he had made it to his suggested destination: Mockingbird, a
Excuse: Mitchell
March 4, 2020
We met through a mutual friend. You were an artist. Unconventional. Gregarious—not reclusive. You were the type to make anyone fall in love. We were
Appeasing, Appeasing, Appeasing Everyone but Not Me
February 26, 2020
Raahi came into my life at a time I was developing greater awareness of the ways in which I had been conditioned to behave –
Perhaps That Was Truly My Greatest Flaw at the Time
February 24, 2020
“Do you want to try again?” he asked me, gently but firmly. It was more a request than a question, really. I laughed uneasily. “Yes,”
Mini Love Stories: Bad Dates
February 19, 2020
A Collection of Mini Love Stories Involving Bad Dates Today I’m sharing three mini love stories about bad dates. Strange Impressions You were a tall
On Loyalty: I Didn’t Know He Was Married
February 17, 2020
I didn’t know he was married. Camino 65 was quiet. Although the sun was setting, many more hours remained before the bar would fill with
Floundering: The Metaphorical Plastic Bag in the Wind
February 12, 2020
We saw each other, again and again, at Shelly’s annual 4th of July (“gala extravaganzee”) parties. You were all the things I was not: wild, free,
The Great Privilege of Unlearning in Love
February 10, 2020
I was in the second grade when I developed my very first crush. “Love,” to that point, had been limited to big hugs and kisses
To See and to Seek All Kinds of Love
February 5, 2020
In February of 2018, I posted an essay to Facebook. It was the first time I had posted to a social media platform in years.
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