Scary Drunk on a First Date Without Consent

I had agreed to a first date through Tinder but, as it approached, I didn’t feel like going. It was only two weeks before I would be leaving the SF Bay Area for an indefinite period of time. Elijah was insistent, though, suggesting that we could change the place or the time or the day—whatever I needed to fit my schedule.

Our connection surprised me, and the date continued for hours. We drank cocktails and played chess. We discussed race and intelligence. He asked if I wanted to join for dinner. I assessed for a moment before saying, “Sure.” Post dinner, he asked if I wanted to hang out with his friend at their house, and I realized that I did.

“Just don’t have any expectations that I will stay the night,” I added. “Do not pressure me to sleep with you.”

At the house, he asked if I wanted a drink. Initially, I said, “No, thanks.” But then he offered Bailey’s and coffee, and I changed my mind. “Just one,” I said.

The mug arrived, filled to the brim. I sipped it. I didn’t remember Bailey’s tasting so strong. But it was also sweet, and I liked it.

When the mug was half empty (half full?), it dawned on me that I felt very intoxicated. Drunk. But how? The alcohol content of Bailey’s is minimal. What is wrong with me? I realized that my words slurred as we conversed. Standing to find the bathroom, my legs betrayed the straight path I tried to walk. In the bathroom, I realized suddenly that I was going to vomit. I needed to vomit. So I did. And then I washed my mouth with water, returned to the sofa, and fell asleep.

The next morning, I awoke full of shame and embarrassment. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror.

“Wow, I don’t know how that happened,” I said when he emerged from his room. I apologized profusely. Who gets drunk on a first date? Not me! A drunk first date isn’t classy.

He smiled. “Don’t worry about it; it happens.”

It wasn’t until our third date that he admitted to adding half a cup of vodka to my mug of coffee and Bailey’s that night.