Love in the Time of Coronavirus: Missing

I miss a lot about life before quarantine. Things I never thought I’d have to miss—the ability to give a hug without fear, the freedom to jump on the next plane to visit loved ones and loved places. Not even the actual act of travel, but the idea, the possibility of it. I miss waking up without the bombardment of climbing mortality rates and plummeting stocks and irresponsible tweets and accounts of global human suffering. I miss a time, not too long ago, when I didn’t feel compelled to yell at my parents, “Did you wash your hands?!” a dozen times a day.

But I also wonder if, maybe, I’ll miss quarantine life when this is all over. When shops are open and people feel safe to venture from the refuge of their homes.

I won’t miss the uncertainty. But then, wasn’t there always uncertainty?

I think I’ll miss the stillness, even amidst the chaos. I’ll miss cuddling up with the cat and watching movies with my family and being under one roof, once again, with my parents and one of my brothers. I’ll miss the active group chats and the virtual happy hours and the beautiful, strange social reconnection during a time of physical disconnection. I’ll miss the global solidarity and generosity.

Or maybe, in our future world, can we have all the best parts of both worlds? Can stillness and safety walk hand in hand? Active group chats and tight hugs?

There’s only one way to find out.

(Note: My privilege shows here. I know there are many people who are struggling so intensely that their lists of “things I might miss from quarantine” are blank. Or, more likely, they haven’t had the time or mental space to consider the question. Lots of people are focused on surviving right now. And that is hard. It is important for each of us to do what we can to help our communities. Support small businesses. Tip well. Donate to organizations. Give to food banks. Check in on vulnerable friends and family and neighbors.)