When I returned home from my semester in Ecuador, halfway through my senior year in high school, I looked and felt like a different person. I left the hot and humid city of Guayaquil and arrived in stormy Seattle, only to find that not a single pair of my pants fit. Besides the extra 30 pounds sitting on my hips, and the fuller pair of breasts, my hair was lighter, my face was tanner, and a dusting of freckles covered my nose.
The more impactful changes were slightly subtler, less obvious; but they were observable, too. In the way I carried myself—my head a little higher and my shoulders faintly back. In the way I communicated myself—my voice louder, less faltering, more assured. In the way I exposed myself—my head tossed in unrestrained laughter, my movements bold and uncalculated.
Not everyone was perceptive enough to notice all of these differences, but Milo was. At a high school basketball game, Shelly caught me by the arm and whispered, “Milo hasn’t taken his eyes off you all evening.” I blushed, flattered.
A few weeks later, it was Valentine’s Day. I was in my civics class, and a student opened the door to make a delivery; he passed me a card and a small stuffed Chihuahua holding Cupid’s bow and arrow. The card was made of purple construction paper and prominently displayed a photo of Milo, cut in the shape of a heart, in the center. Sweethearts candies with messages in Spanish were glued around the picture, and “Para: Allie, De: M-Dizzle” appeared in black ink. My face grew warm as my friends around me giggled.
Milo and I went to the winter formal together. We went to the movies together and played games at the beach. He was funny and goofy and sexy.
We danced but never kissed. I can’t remember whether we even held hands. After all, my heart beat for someone halfway across the country back in those days. In the end, we drifted apart, the young romance fizzling as they tend to, and soon Milo was pining after my good friend, asking her to prom. I’ll always be grateful, though, that Milo saw me—really saw me—and reinforced the new, more authentic, more vibrant version of me.
