I Saw It in the Mirror: These Were Actually My People

Part 2 of 2! (Please read this post first, if you haven’t yet.)

In the aftermath of Noah’s rejection of me, in those weeks leading up to the B-EHS Homecoming Dance of 2006, I put on a happy face. My peers prepared for the event—shopping for dresses and buying tickets and making dinner reservations. And I, well, didn’t do those things.

By happenstance, I found an outfit for that night, even though I wasn’t looking for one. Even though I wasn’t actually going. The outfit wasn’t a fancy sequined ballgown; it was a black graphic tee-shirt that said, in pale pink lettering, “All dressed up and no place to go!” I laughed aloud when I saw it at the mall, and I bought it without a second thought (astonishing, as anyone who knows my painfully indecisive self can tell you).

When the day came, I donned that shirt with some black gaucho pants, a strand of beads, and a pair of sparkly silver flip flops. What a moment for fashion it was. I joined my friends at Lauren’s house where I helped them prepare for their dinner and dance. Dresses and shoes and makeup and curling irons were strewn across the bathroom. I stood over my various girlfriends, manipulating tight curls and pinning them into loose buns before assessing the reflection in the mirror. And it occurred to me then that this was actually my favorite part of any homecoming anyway. And these were actually my people. With them, I could survive the rejection of any high school boy. Maybe not happily, but I could survive.

Before I left, we took a photo on Lauren’s sofa. I was sprawled across the laps of those lovely ladies.

I felt loved.